Confession#1

Dear Adam ,

I'm coming to you on behalf of your future wife. Mrs. Bing. Man do I love how that rings. I know you keep saying you forgive me. And for the first time ever I truly feel like you do. God has showed me a story very similar to mine. Hosea starting with chapter 1. How God spoke to Hosea he said, “Go and marry this promiscuous wife, and have promiscuous children for the land has committed great adultery to the Lord.”

It's so crazy how I thought back on our old phone conversations, because I was sure I heard that before. I recall you telling me to read the book of Hosea, and Daniel. Well I haven't read Daniel yet, but I am reading Hosea, and baby if this is it not talking about us and our story, I don't know what will. But I love that it is has been a guide. I never thought I would say it, but The world did come with instructions. The word. The bible. It is instruction.  It’s also talking about a lot of spiritual wars that we talked about via phone.

Anywho Mr. Bing this letter is not just an apology because I cheated. Rather this is a diary,of the New Era Hosea and Gomner. For it is symbolic to not only you and I, But to God and his people. I want to thank you in advance for forgiving me. For it is not just for all of my infidelities,rather my sins against others, as well. Others that actually matter to me.

Because just as I love myself I do too love them. The sins I committed against them I want true forgiveness. Although these diaries you will read are not what a person of love would do, it is the truth. The dirty nasty truth. And as John 8:32 said, “and you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. “ With that being said, I need you to know i'm truly sorry, and here is everything. The whole truth.

Back to what I was telling you, I want you to know that this apology it not because I cheated. Because we both know I did. And yes I am sorry I cheated however, the “bitch” in me likes to think it’s just pay back, petty, yes, but you did it to me when I was just a simple virgin.To be real,I should not have reacted to your sin with sin. But what I actually did during our break is what I feel will hurt you most. But I am ready to confess. Because he who finds a wife, finds a good thang.” (proverbs 18:22)

And in order to be your good thing, I have to expose myself. I have to expose myself out loud. To the world. My reputation , My pride is about to be broken. But in order to gain my pureness and temple back I must die , my flesh, my old me must die. Now, if that was the end of it, I would rather keep my business in private, but God spoke to me and told me if I want him to release you from the bond you're in, I must confess as the promiscuous , the mistress, and the wife.

For God's glory and  how I am willing to sacrifice not just my dignity but the dignity of my future husbands question to lead his family, and your decision making upon marrying me. So I am asking you take this as my apology letter to you and the world of my selfishness back in my promiscuous days.

God is stripping me of my flesh and showing me as an example to everyone. I thank you in advance for letting me share our story with everyone. Not to be broken down, because that will happen when you choose to serve God anyhow. But by those that come and try to destroy God's union he is forming between Husband and Wife, the real understanding, the real unconditional love. I truly thank God for his work on us and how we will lead by example. You have truly become a man of God. But first we must go through this.

It sounds bad but to be honest, yet I do not feel bad that this has to be our karma. God has already revealed to me we owe him our lives. For everything he is about to do for us. He is in your corner, he is in my corner. I as your wife have to make the first sacrifice for it is of a great price.

 A few would say I am insane and I am a making myself look like a fool. The ironic, yet satisfying part about this all is, Hosea chapter 9:7, “the prophet is known as a fool and the inspired insane. So I like to think of myself as the inspired from my own story and I will take my consequence of looking insane for speaking on my impurities out loud.

I know you're sitting in there really praying on a miracle. Just as I am on the outside. Along with your mom. Who knew we would really be destined for one another. It’s insane how over these past few years I have never connected with any male on this level of spirituality, not even with you until we have been thrown into the lion's den.

All to say these letters that you will read over the next few weeks will not be the regular but more intense, and I hate to say it but hurtful. I know you have forgiven and are aware of the affair. I just want to take this time to share my past fears, while you are still in there. I know we are the real definition of trial and error. But the best part in the end is no matter how they will crucify you and your I, God has given you a GOOD THING. I am forgiven and I am restored. In Jesus Name. Here is my first confession. Welcome to ,” The Open Diary.”

Love forever your,

Eve.